The Drama Triangle: A Toxic Pattern Undermining Workplace Success

Are you faced with team members, suppliers and others who always point the finger of blame at others for their own shortcomings, problems that they can’t solve or actions that they can’t possibly take? In essence, they aren’t accountable for outcomes. This dysfunctional behavior pattern has is often referred to as the drama triangle.  

The drama triangle involves three distinct roles: Victim, the Persecutor and the Rescuer. Imagine a triangle with each role at one of the points. 

1. Victim: This role often feels helpless, oppressed or victimized. They may portray themselves as needing to be rescued or saved from their circumstances. 

2. Persecutor: This role often takes on a critical or controlling stance. They may blame or attack others, consciously or unconsciously, contributing to the victim's sense of oppression. 

3. Rescuer: This role involves someone who tries to save or fix the situation. They may do so in a well-meaning way but can inadvertently perpetuate the dynamic by reinforcing the victim's sense of helplessness. 

These roles perpetuate a vicious cycle - the more the players lean into each persona, the more entrenched the toxic pattern becomes. The supposed "Rescuers" often get an ego boost from putting themselves above the fray and trying to "solve" things. However, by continually rescuing Victims and placating Persecutors, they merely enable the destructive triangle to keep spinning. 

The drama triangle creates a culture of finger-pointing, lack of accountability, disengagement and failure to address real issues head-on. Instead of having authentic and productive discussions, people slip into these externalized roles and the same dramas play out over and over. 

To avoid this type of dysfunction, team members must notice when they are taking on a Victim/Persecutor/Rescuer mindset. They need to take responsibility for their role in the situation, rather than blaming others or giving away their power. Most importantly, they should strive to have direct, fact-based conversations while avoiding the dysfunctional rhetoric of the drama triangle. 

Property management executives can avoid the ill-effects of the drama triangle by calling out unproductive behavioral patterns when they occur, then re-framing conversations more constructively focused on solutions instead of blame. Eliminating needless drama helps build a culture of ownership, open communication and real accountability. 

The Drama Triangle will continue at communities and in property management offices unless it is recognized and there is a concerted effort to address problems and mistakes productively with a mindset that shortcomings should be used as learning experiences to build more trust, enhance communication and improve overall performance.